How To Install Gutsy Gibbon – A 21 Step Guide For Technical Support

Ok, this is completely satirical, cynical and NOT serious at all. It’s meant to make you laugh. If you don’t laugh, you may have DVHAD (Digg Visitor Humor Absence Disorder). You may need to seek professional therapy. I can recommend a good psychiatrist if you’d like.

This article is 99.7% joke. (0.3% standard deviation)

1. “First, insert the Ubuntu Gutsy Gibbon 7.10 CD into your cup holder.”

2. “Press the power button on your computer, and hold it until it shuts off.”

3. “Good. Now press the power button again.”

4. “We’re going to see some white on black text fly by, please don’t read it to me.”

5. “Let me know when you’ve got a screen that says Ubuntu in brown and orange.”

6. “Ok, press the ‘Enter’ key.”

7. “Ok, double click on the Install icon on the desktop. It’s on the left part of the screen. Near the top. Other left.”


8. “You’ll see a screen with some information on it. Please don’t read it to me. Ok, I needed to hear it again.”

9. “Thanks for reading that screen of information you will never retain, and proceed to press the Forward button.”


10. “Ok I don’t want to confuse you with different options, so just click the picture until it says your city or state capital. If you can’t get it, just get close enough that if a nuclear explosion went off in the city you have selected, you would likely die from the fallout.”


11. “Press Forward.”


12. “Behind option number 2 is hope that I don’t have to explain this page to you. Select ‘Guided – use entire disk,’ and press Forward.”


13. “Ok, here’s the fun part. Type in your first name into both of the first two boxes. No, not last name.”

14. “Whew, ok now just type in your password into next two boxes, where it says “Choose a password to keep your account safe.”

15. “What does your computer say on the front of it? Viewsonic, eh? Type that into the box where is says ‘What is the name of this computer?'”


16. Do NOT read this screen to me. I already know what it says. Instead, press Install.


17. “You’ll see a bar slowly crawling across the screen, like a caterpillar or crawdad.”

18. “Let me know when the bar is filled up.”

19. Waiting….. …… ……

Ubuntu Installer Animation

20. “OK, now press ‘Restart Now’ ”

Install Done

21. Congratulations Grandpa, you can use this new fangled Linux thing the 5 and 6 year old grandkids were talking about.

  • I held the power key and lost the steps. Can you tell me the step to print these?

  • What if my computer does not boot from a CD-ROM automatically?

  • Grandpa

    Ok, how come now, my wireless card isn’t finding my Netgear and I can’t get to my AOL mail anymore? It worked in Windows XP?

  • Grandma

    I am amazed at how fast your system completes the installation steps. This article will be very helpful to my mother.

  • Uh, OK.

    So, I turned my computer thingy off.

    Put it in my cup holder, and my car started driving itself.

    Afterwards, pies fell from the sky.


  • Jim

    My coffee is getting cold, can I please put it back in the cup holder?

  • GeekDoc

    wait! wait!

    It’s got that white on black text again!

    Are we starting over?

  • 6 year old grandkiks

    grandpa reads the screens to me, too!
    sometimes he says something like “my computer’s broken. what’s wrong with it? can you fix it? how much will it cost? oh. it’s not here, it’s at home!”

  • Alucard-sama

    Hahaha! “Insert the […] CD into your cup holder”.
    That’s classic XD

  • Dennis

    Oops, you just told Grandpa to wipe his hard disk without asking if he already had anything on it. Now he will have to go back to the web to retrieve all of the porn he lost.

  • Required

    Holy crap that autoscrolling RSS thing is annoying. Seriously, what’s the point of that?

    Also, my cup holder broke off. I guess it wasn’t meant to hold a pint glass of Guinness.

  • Ubuntu isn’t ready yet

    Only problem his wireless card won’t work

  • CornFused

    I only have Ubuntu 7.04 Feisty. Should I go back and get Gusty Gibson? What’s a Lynnuks? I can’t find the “Any Button”. Where is it?

  • Haha, I love all the comments people, keep em coming. Subscribe to my RSS feed for more articles like this in the future, or have a quick read at my Zenwalk review.

  • pops

    Wheres the start button…..i want to turn off??

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  • I second the comment about the autoscrolling feed icon being incredibly annoying. Stop that. That kind of thing results in me leaving and not returning.

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  • Angel Mass

    Hmmm, cant find the Any key on my Keyboard. Its a Genius KB-12e

  • Andrew

    Well its all very well making fun of people, but most problems with the install arise with hardware compatibility issues etc.

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  • Ben

    Giggle Giggle. I didn’t get the cup holder joke at first. Teehee. That was nifty. Oh. and. I rather enjoyed the scrolling RSS button… can you bring it back? Please?

  • Les

    Can’t find the Any key? Its right next to the “emmy” key.

    After you tell most people that, they have no trouble finding it.

  • Ruben

    Power off Button??? WTF? Can i just pull the cord instead? Im used to it since im a windoze user…